Monday, February 27, 2012

Reality Vs. Perception

I've been forced to stop at this spot on my journey towards health/wholeness.  Yep, the dreaded "Reality Check".  You know the place where you THINK you are, but you find out really WHERE you are.  "Are we there yet?", "Are we there yet?", "Are we there YET?"....moments.  This is the place in the journey where you think you can relax, lay back and enjoy the ride, but then you get sleepy and almost vere completely off the path and crash.  So unless you want your journey to end up in a fireball of defeat you must pay the toll and stop at this reality check.

There have been several of these stops along my life's journey.  I think days of reckoning come more often than not to be honest.  Crises can often cause action to take place.  I think about times I've stopped and honestly viewed my life.  I mean really took a look at where I had been, where I was and where I wanted to go in life.  Those times are precious.  Growth occurs and change takes place.  Then there are the stops where I've tried to rush through and instead of progressing I came to a crashing halt.  Mired in the pit of shame, guilt and defeat I lost time and precious opportunity to see more, experience more, become more. 

Well my path has lead me to another such place of reckoning.  I have been forced to slow down and approach this reality check during the month of February.  I have had MAJOR successes and major letdowns all within a few short days.  Some of the things I've learned during this pit stop are: 1. I must be aware of what I'm eating at all times.  Really there aren't any "days off", "meals off" for me.  I ate like crap for a week and two weeks later I ended up having a horrible attack of gastritis and problems with my ulcer.  2.  I must be aware of HOW much I'm eating at all times.  Skipping meals isn't good.  Eating too much doesn't get me ANY closer to my goal.  Reality in the arena of food portion size is a whole new world.  3.  I simply must move MORE.  I worked so hard to run my first 5K and since February 11th I haven't even walked.  Isn't that horrible?  I've tried, I've wanted to, I've planned to, but I HAVEN'T.  What's that about?  If I want my metabolism to speed up and I want to see this flab gone I'm gonna have to work harder and work more often.  4.  If I want to experience a simple life I have to SIMPLIFY.  This means getting rid of excess...physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  5.  Consistency, consistency, consistency.  This isn't going to happen in one day.  This is a new way of life.  6.  If I want change then I'm GOING to have be the change.  No one else can do this for me.  This journey is my own!!!!  I can receive help, but ultimately each ounce I lose is up to ME!!!  and my final REALITY 7.  My weight at it's highest OR lowest point doesn't make me who I am but this journey to get to wholeness DOES!!!! 

I am so thankful though that through God's Word I can see myself for who I really am.  I so grateful that my reality and my perception of myself are looking more and more the same daily.  I'm still a work in progress, but at least I'm still working!!!

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