Sunday, February 19, 2012

A "Fork" in the Road

Isn't it ironic that a fat person would have to choose a path, a FORK in the road???  I've blogged recently about my issues with overeating, making bad choices, feeling out of control.  I've also blogged about my recent breakthrough and my very first 5K.  Two roads, two choices, two paths.  So different, both with results, consequences, rewards and disappointments.

Both of these paths have called to me.  I've found myself making choices based upon emotions, feelings, other people's opinions, my own fears and agendas.  Sometimes I take the right path, sometimes I've wandered into the land of breakdown and felt so lost, alone and hopeless.  I feel as if I am this point again in my life.  I'm stading on the road wanting to make it to the finish line yet faced with a choice of which direction to take.  I've taken shortcuts too often in my life.  I've looked for ways that might be pretty, easy, make me feel warm and fuzzy while I travel.  The road to DENIAL though is far different from the road to VICTORY. 

Matthew 7:13-14 says "Enter through the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the road is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who go through it.  How narrow is the gate and difficult the road that leads to life, and few find it."  Once again I'm not trying to lose weight so I can fit through a "narrow" gate...hehehehe.  I'm trying to find LIFE and find it abundantly.  I want to choose the path that brings honor to God and life to me and my family.  The Message paraphrase puts that passage like this "Don't look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don't fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life—to God!—is vigorous and requires total attention."  That last part "is vigorous and requires total attention" is what really grabs me.  Am I giving my total attention to life or am I just standing at the fork in the road waiting for someone else to choose for me?  Planning, working, making progress, these things all take intention and patience, ambition, tenacity, wisdom.  

Right now my heart is heavy and my mind filled with thoughts, dreams and desires.  I feel almost sick with a sense of urgency.  I HAVE to keep on keepin' on.  I must keep going.  I simply have to finish this.  I might have gotten stalled, but I'm not stopping!!!

So I'm headed down the narrow path, through the narrow gate, toward BREAKTHROUGH.  Victory is calling me and although it's still far off, I can hear the crowd of witnesses calling to me.  I can hear those who have prayed for me, cheered me on, walked this journey ahead of me calling me to keep coming.  I am gonna keep putting one foot in front of the other, pick myself up, keep working, keep crying, keep sweating, keep trying, keep crying, keep believing, keep praying, keep learning, keep changing, keep dreaming, keep asking for revelation, keep moving.  I'm choosing THIS day to walk towards BREAKTHROUGH!!!

I've chosen my path.  The fork in the road seemed daunting, but I'm laying down my pride, fear and doubt and I'm choosing HEALTH, wholeness, peace and joy.  Wanna come with me??? 

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