Friday, December 31, 2010

My Fitness Pal

So there is this REALLY cool app for the Droid that I downloaded and started using today call My Fitness Pal. It tracks my caloric intake, amount of water ingested and activity level. I have the ability to scan barcodes from food items to get the nutrition information. It even gives me info for food from retaurants. I hope it is a useful tool in this journey.

Happy New Year,


Monday, December 27, 2010

It's Monday... the Monday after Christmas wasn't as "good" as the Monday after Thanksgiving. The scales said I weighed 282 this morning. So that means that I have put on 2 pounds in the last few weeks. My first goal was to be at 275 by Christmas. I didn't meet that first goal. However, I NOT going to stop. I'm NOT going to consider myself as a failure. I'm going to keep trucking along. I'm going to keep walking the right path, the better way, the road to health. I just wanted to keep sharing and being honest. I NEED your help. I NEED your accountability. I NEED your prayers and support.

Too many sweets. Too many sugar drinks. Too much caffiene. Too much of EVERYTHING. Overindulgence is paying it's price. I had a bad case of heartburn that last about 12 hours. YIKES. So today I started my day with water and oatmeal.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I'm looking forward to 2011 and the pounds that I am going to lose and the "better" me I am working on becoming/revealing.


Friday, December 24, 2010

Wish I Had More to Say

I wish I had more to report.  Honestly at this point I'm just hanging in and hanging on for the ride.  I have maintained my weight loss, but haven't lost anymore.  I haven't been consistent with my walking or working out :-(.  Boo hoo....

I really just need to focus.  I need to make a list of priorities, dreams, goals.  I simply cannot visualize myself in any other condition than the one I am in currently.  This makes me sad, but it's true.  I'm praying for motivation.  I'm praying for strength.  I'm praying for change.

Merry Christmas,


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

MOTIVATION (or lack thereof)

I'm REALLY struggling with motivation these past few weeks.  This snow hasn't helped.  My lil' guys have been sick or Leslie has had sickness or other reasons that we can't meet.  I am chomping at the bit to get back on routine.  Honestly I just don't have the internal motivation or ambition yet to keep up with healthy eating/journaling/working out.  I want to do it I just don't/can't. 

Reminds me of Romans chapter seven.  Here is that passage vs. 14-25 in the NASB "For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of  the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin."

So much I want to much I need to do!!  God I pray that you would capture my heart, mind, soul and strength and give me YOUR grace to walk this journey.

Any thoughts out there?  How do you get back on track?  How do you stay motivated???  HELP!!!


Monday, December 13, 2010

Sunday, December 5, 2010

There's Strength in Numbers

So I posted earlier about accountability and it's importance in success.  Well I was chatting with a friend of mine on FB last night and we decided a FB group might be helpful.  So...I'm gonna try and start one today.  I will invite people so let me know via email if you wanna join.  Oh and I'm open for suggestions about creative titles for the group.

I can tell that I'm still having trouble with internal motivation.  Leslie was sick on Thursday with a Migraine and I didn't work out because she wasn't here.  Also I was just TOO tired to go to class on Saturday.  NOT GOOD.  Pray for me that I can keep making changes so that I don't feel as if I NEED somebody to get me going.  I was also doing REALLY well with my walking and I haven't walked in about two weeks.  YIKES!!
Yesterday was sure a shot in the arm though.  I had to find a shirt to wear for the Christmas musical on the 12th.  I went to Catherine's and found a turtleneck.  I'm not too happy with the fit, but I hope it will work.  Aside from that the dressing room is TORTURE AND MOTIVATION all in one.  I HATE those lights.  I HATE those mirrors.  I have a lot of work to do and I realize that even though I am going to lose weight I will NEVER look like a model.  I just want to be healthy, happy, whole and FREE and I'm on the way.

So once again I'm grateful that today's a NEW day.  Even though there's ice on the ground I'm gonna try and get my legs a walkin' today.  Gonna make the FB group.  Gonna eat healthy and clean.  Gotta drink some water!!! 

Have a blessed day,


Friday, December 3, 2010

Vita Mix

So I was blessed by a friend of mine named Angie.  She has a Vita-Mix that she isn't using currently.  We LOVE it.  It's a few years old and has seen some use, but it works perfectly for our needs.  More than likely we will purchase an upgrade of our own when we can.  We use it for smoothies, making baby food and all kinds of other stuff.  I am learning so much about the benefits of juicing and healthy living.  This machine is going to be a BLESSING to our family as we walk down this path.  I can use it for soups, dips, smoothies, sauces ALL kinds of stuff.  Can't wait to keep you posted on recipes I discover.

To Healthy Living,


Thursday, December 2, 2010

I love hummus

So a new found favorite snack...hummus!!!

Currently we have Sabra Supremely Spicy flavor in our fridge.  I LOVE it!!

I'm up because of a laundry dilemma.  So a little hummus helps to pass the time.

Another brand I really like is Cedar's Garden Vegetable flavor.  YEAH for healthy stuff that tastes good. 

Being Held Accountable (Long POST)

*LONG POST*  Get comfortable, sit back and read away!!!

Accountability is almost a curse word these days.  People want to live their own lives ANYWAY they please.  They don't want to be held accountable by any kind of authority.  This could mean parents, teachers, government officials and even "a higher power", THE higher power, GOD!!!  Ok...that soap box is for another blog :-)

I have chosen to become accountable to people in my life.  I was a part of Celebrate Recovery for many years.  This meant that I was held accountable by a small group of trusted women by sharing in group, talking over the phone, meeting with my accountability partners etc.  I LOVED it and miss it very much.  However, this season of my life does not lend itself for a weekly CR meeting. 

Well I knew that embarking upon this journey to health and wholeness was NOT going to be easy.  I knew that I needed some accountability.  So I have prayerfully chosen to share my situation with others.  I am sharing through this blog.  Most women won't disclose their weight.  I have chosen to share it with ALL of cyberspace.  I am choosing to allow the worship team at Mtn. View to hold me accountable.  I shared with them in last nights rehearsal a brief statement about needing to be held to the "fire" and wanting them to speak the truth to me in love.  I also am being held accountable by my mother.  We meet weekly to share our food journals and weigh.  Lastly, yet most importantly I am being held accountable by Leslie Raper and the other ladies in the Women's Conditioning class on Sat. mornings. 

So I have SO FAR TO GO, but I'm on the way.  I WANT you to come along with me.  I WANT you to speak the TRUTH IN LOVE if you see me making a bad decision, I WANT you to pray for me and with me.  I WANT you to ask how I'm doing/how things are going.  I WANT TO CHANGE and I NEED help!!!

Thanks for listening, sharing, loving and encouraging,


Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Personal Trainer

Let me say that I never thought I would ever want to have a personal trainer or that I could even benefit from a personal trainer.  I thought that these kind of services were or people who were "serious" body builders or who had MUCH more experience with working out/exercising than I do.  I was WRONG.  Having someone to help me has been EXACTLY the thing I needed.

God brought Leslie and me together.  We have worshipped together in past settings.  I met her years ago at a women's conference sponsored by Crosswalk church in Blk. Mtn.  My mother and I were guest attendees.  Sandy Johnston introduced us.  Then years later we had the pleasure of worshipping together at Mtn. View church.  Although Bill, Leslie and their family no longer call Mtn. View "home" we have been able to maintain a friendship.  In all actuality we are closer now than before. 

Leslie is a certified personal trainer.  I have her card if you want it ;-).  She has lost a large amount of weight and kept it off for over a decade.  She also is a nutritional counselor.  Having trained at the rush and other facilities I knew that she "knew her stuff".  Here is her bio and email address (sorry shameless plug for my friend) 

Leslie Raper

Leslie has a passion for creative training, motivation, and nutritional guidance.
Leslie is a trainer with more than 10 years experience in Group Fitness and Personal Training. Her passion is to help men and women develop strong, healthy bodies while giving them nutritional guidance for optimum performance in and away from the gym.

While Leslie trains all fitness levels from beginner to advanced fitness enthusiast, her speciality is in programs that incorporate total body workouts that give you an intense workout that is injury free while considering all physical issues and taking special circumstances into account. You will burn fat, build lean muscle and feel incredibly successful. She does not believe in one size fits all and builds programs that are as individual as you!

Her clientele ranges in ages from 14 to 65, men and women. She conducts special group fitness such as training for young women's sports teams, Super Circuit Classes, Personal One on One, Core Stability Training and Back Care, specialized training for the female runner and training for the senior fitness buff.

Leslie's training offers something for everyone and you can be rest assured that every measure will be taken to make you comfortable, safe and most of all; successful!
Specializing In:
  • Postural Assessments & Corrective Exercise
  • Beginner Women Weight Training
  • Intermediate & Advanced Woman Conditioning
  • Total Body Conditioning for Runners
NASM & AFAA - Certified Fitness Trainer

Needless to say her patience, dedication, "Wisdom, Tenacity, Focus" and evident faith are part of what make her so special.  Leslie cuts through the "fluff" and tells me as it is.  She holds me accountable.  She sees the best in me and doesn't back down.  She prays for me and with me.  She pushes me when I need to be encouraged and lets me cry when I feel as if I can't do one more rep.  She doesn't mind when I can't find childcare.  She loves my kids and understands my situation.  The class she teaches on Saturday mornings at Biltmore Premier Fitness is HARD yet FUN!!!  What a neat group of ladies I have had the pleasure of working out with the last two weeks.  She has big dreams for me and is going to help ME have big dreams for me :-).  I am grateful to God for allowing our paths to cross and for giving Leslie the heart to work with this tired, stressed out, overweight, completely out of shape, broken down momma! 

I am thankful,


Monday, November 29, 2010

It's a Start

My mom and I are holding each other accountable with our food journals and we weigh every week on the same scale and share our new weekly numbers.  This week I had lost 2.1 lbs.  So it's a start!!! 

Just wanted to record it,


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving and other holidays are usually celebrated by partaking LOTS of food.  At least that's how it's done in the Morgan/Flint households.  These foods are often starchy, sweet, sticky, gooey, crunchy, fried, flaky, fatty, and abundant.  Not that "fun" food is a bad thing.  It's just that usually I end up eating WAY TO MUCH of it.  I wish that Americans didn't put as much emphasis on "holiday foods". Oh and one Thanksgiving dinner isn't   So today is Thanksgiving dinner #2.  I must admit that last Thursday I wasn't very "good".  I ate more than I should have.  I ate foods that weren't healthy.  I even had dessert(s).  The fellowship was sweet, but my body told me that it didn't like what I had put in it or how much.  I was almost immediately sorry for my choices.  That felt good even at the same time of feeling badly.  It meant to me that I wanted to eat differently. 

I am learning new habits.  I am displacing old thought patterns.  I am purposing to be a healthy, whole version of my current self.  I am embracing knowledge, change and FREEDOM.  So just as God's Word says in Lam. 3:22-23(NLT) "The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.  Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." I am believing that today is another chance to try again.  My family is in from out of town to celebrate.  My prayer is that I will enjoy their company and our conversation will be graced with the presence of the Lord.  My contributions to the dinner will be quinoa (see previous post..hahaha) and organic mashed potatoes (butter cream variety).  It will be a wonderful day. 

I am thankful that God has allowed my eyes to be opened to the need to change.  I have known for YEARS that I need to change.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to look in the mirror and see that I'm fat or when I walk a few flights of stairs I'm winded.  What I mean is that the eyes of my spirit have been opened to my need for help from my Savior AND from friends and family to encourage me in this realm of change.  He brought me to my lowest point last month to make me realize something has to give.  Maybe I'll blog about that too.  Nevertheless, fat, winded, humbled, overwhelmed yet HOPEFUL I will bring myself to the table and ENJOY Thanksgiving with my family.

Thanking God for healthy food,


Saturday, November 27, 2010

A New Vocabulary

Ok so this "healthy" thing sure has a new vocabulary.  This goes for both the "clean eating" world and the "workout" world.  Today was my second Women's Conditioning Class with the fabulous, beautiful, talented, godly, fun, encouraging Leslie Raper (I'll blog about her later...).  I learned some neat, new things today.  I wanted to share them with you in a fun format.

Old Way of Thinking Vs. New Way:
"Clean and Press"-I used to think that involved laundry.  Today I learned that it was a weightlifting move.
"Bosu"-Maybe that was a type of noodle used in Thai cooking.  Today I learned it was a half of a "stability ball" used for balance, exercising and all other kinds of "delicious" torture Leslie creates :-)
"Medicine Ball"-In my college days that might have been the name of a bad  Today I learned that they come in various weights and are much heavier than you think after using them for various exercises.
"T Twist"-Not a type of pastry....a twist involving the thoracic whatever.  I'm not even sure I know what I'm talking about.  All I know is that we had to do a push up and then do this twisty thingy.
"Lady Gaga"-What happens when I've had a hard day :-).  Good workout music????  Still not sure about that one.
"Bicycle Crunches"- What  might happen when you back over your kids bike in the driveway.  Today....a very painful move on top of this torture device known as a "ball".  Oh if you could have seen me today.  You would have laughed.
"Core"-What is found at the center of an apple.  Now I know it's something muscular I'm supposed to have.  Oh it will be YEARS before I find my "core".  No really somewhere in me is this fabulous size 10. 

These are just a few from the "workout" world. 
Ready for the "clean eating" realm?

"Organic"-Something that my eleven month old boys produce.  Locally grown produce and other items.  Ones that are healthier for me (although often more expensive).  I'm learning.
"Quinoa" (pronounced Keen-wa)-I thought that might have been something a ninja said while attacking.  Come to find out it's a complete protein and a "super-grain". 
"Range-fed"-This doesn't mean a meal that I put on the table after cooking it for my family.  It means that beef, chicken, turkey etc. are raised only on natural foods, grains not corn or other filler foods.  Also they haven't been exposed to harmful antibiotics and other environmental hazards. 
"Kefir" (pronounced Kee-fur)-A famous actor (sorry couldn't resist). A pro biotic, natural drink made of fermented milk.

Hopefully you've enjoyed my playful take on things.  In all honesty I am learning everyday what living a healthy life means.  New vocabulary.  New ways of doing things.  New mindset.  New.  New.  New.  It is hard.  It is humbling.  It is overwhelming at times, but I enjoy learning.  I'm a good student.  I always have been.  I pray that I can retain what I'm learning AND keep pressing in for more knowledge everyday. 

Thanks for stopping by friends,


Here Are Some Pics....

So here I was in November of 1994. I had these glamor shots made to send to my boyfriend at the time. He was a Marine stationed in Okinawa, Japan. This "me" seems lost forever in SOOOO many ways. This is a good AND bad thing. I'll blog about that later.

And here I was on Oct. 31, 2010 the day I REALLY started down a new path.  This path to health, wholeness and FREEDOM!!!  Big change huh??? I am.  Same in so many ways and different in others.  Just thought you might like to see.

Friday, November 26, 2010

"Let's Start at the Very Beginning"

"A very good place to start..."

This post is going to be lenghty but hang in there. I have struggled with my weight my ENTIRE life. As long as I can remember and even chronicled through photos of my past I have been "chubby" or some variation of overweight. Maybe I'll share some of those "cute fat kid" photos :-).

I am going to be BRUTALLY honest in this blog. Honestly, what do I have to lose? (Except a LOT of When I married Nathan on May 20, 1995 I was 210 pounds. So fifteen years and 5 kids later on Oct. 31, 2010 (when I finally made up my mind to start this journey), I weighed in at 285. YIKES. How does that happen???

You know I've been on a journey my whole life. It's not as if I'm staring a new journey. I'm just choosing to walk a different direction. This isn't going to change who I am in the eyes of Christ which is my TRUE identity. This transformation process is simply going to bring me closer to the reality of my eternal home and allow me to be ALL that God created me to be. John 10:10 (New Living Translation) says" The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life." That's my desire to have a RICH AND SATISFYING LIFE. Please don't mistake what I'm saying here. I don't think that when I hit some "magical" number on a scale that instantly the heavens will part, the angels will sing and I will have ARRIVED!!! I am blessed beyond measure. I have a wonderful life and I am grateful, but I know there is more for me. Christ wants ALL of me. He wants me to be FREE and HEALTHY!!!

Here's a new favorite song of mine. I think it is going to be my "theme song" for this next phase of my life. Check it out "Daring to Be" by Natalie Grant

In the next post I'll tell you about how I came to start this new path on my life's journey and share some photos. Until then...

I'm not who I was and not yet who I will be...