"You'll never be able to lose weight!"
"Nathan would be able to love you better/more if you didn't look like a slob."
"God would love you more if you were skinny."
"This wasn't the life you were meant to have."
"You are second-class."
"Your friends left you because you are fat."
These are some of the lies that the voices have told me for years. I've believed them whole-heartedly for years and attached them to myself. Almost two years ago I started trying to break through this lies and replace them with TRUTH. It's been a very hard process. Precious people in my life, my husband, Leslie Raper, my mother and mother-in-law, Angie Barker, Laura Crockett and others have encouraged me. Along this path they have shared truth, love, a listening ear, tough love, encouragement, tears, laughter and other blessings. Daily I face the old, faulty perspective I've developed/adopted. Even 77 pounds lighter I still see myself as a tired, obese, washed up woman. I used to refer to myself as "Jabba the Hutt".
One way recently that I felt led to replace the lies with the TRUTH is to memorize Scripture. I am going to memorize a verse for every pound lost. Preparing myself spiritually is every bit as important as having plans in place physically and mentally to keep this weight off once it's gone. The first passage I'm working on is Phil. 3:7-14 (NASB) "But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
A specific number on the scale isn't the end of my journey. My prize is knowing Jesus and sharing life with Him for eternity. That's my prize. I keep doing what I'm doing, striving for health and wholeness because I want to know Him. I want to be more like Him and losing myself to find Him is an honor.
These are the other passages I'm memorizing....
- Psalm 46
- Romans 12:1-3
- Proverbs 29:25
- Psalm 118:6
- Psalm 143
- Psalm 37:1-11
- I Peter 1:13-16
- Phil. 4:4-9, 11-13
- Eph. 6:10-18
- Gal. 5:22-26
- Psalm 107:8-9
- Phil. 1:6
- Phil. 2:12-16
- Psalm 1
- Heb. 12:1-3
- I. Cor. 6:19-20