Wednesday, July 11, 2012

It's GOOD to NOT be Noticed

When you are morbidly obese people notice.  They stare.  They laugh.  They look away, hoping you didn't seem them gawking at you.  How could people NOT notice when you can't fit into booths, amusement park rides or movie theater seats?  Ironically I thought that when I was fat(ter) I was hiding.  Let me tell you that my cushion of flab certainly hasn't protected me from hurt and sadness.  In fact it's multiplied my pain and sorrow.

Well lately the opposite is happening and I'm absolutely THRILLED.  I have people look at me in the eye, smile in acknowledgement, walk past me and THEN's me.  They come back to speak and inevitably say something like "I didn't even recognize you".  I've had other people say "I didn't know it was you until I heard you speak.".  People have been very supportive in this journey and quick to complement, encourage and praise me.  I am learning to say thank you and quickly turn back all of the praise to where it's due.  Sure, I've worked my butt off, literally.  Yet, there are other factors, people, things that have helped.  I give credit to God for helping me by sustaining me and loving me gently as He breaks my will and I turn it over to Him bit by bit.  Leslie is ALWAYS mentioned.  I jokingly say "If people stand still long enough I'm gonna tell them about Jesus and Leslie.".  My family gets mentioned.  I want others to know I haven't walked this road alone.  Also I let people know I'm still walking this journey.  Realistically I have 50-60 more pounds I would like to lose.

This morning the scales said 201.5.  I'm on day seven of my cleanse and overall I would say it's been successful.  Cravings have been broken.  I have been reminded of what my body really NEEDS and how much less food I eat these days.  I need to get back to some sort of regular walking/running schedule.  I'm so close to my first goal I can TASTE it.

Thanks for reading.  Please leave me some love and have a nice day.   

1 comment:

  1. I'm so proud of you! I keep slipping and coming back, over and over again. Keep gaining and losing the same 5 pounds. Wish I was a little more like you right now!