Something I Noticed

So I have this tendency that I noticed about myself last night.  It wasn't the first time that I have done this, but I became keenly aware of it's power yesterday. 

I made a spaghetti pie (spaghetti squash, ricotta, fresh mozzarella, ground beef, pasta sauce) before I left for the evening.  The children went to play with some friends and I had a "semi grown up" dinner with a friend and then visited for jut a bit.  We got home late and I needed to transfer the pie from the pie plate to another plate so I could use the pie plate to bake another spaghetti pie this morning.  As I was transferring it over I felt this uncontrollable urge to taste it.  I wasn't hungry.  I just wanted to eat it because it was there, it smelled good, I was curious.  Needless to say I had MORE than one bite.  Not quite a whole piece of this "spaghetti pie", but certainly more than I should of had since it was past 9 o'clock and I wasn't even hungry.  AS I'm eating this I'm feeling guilty.  I'm thinking "why did you do that?". 

Obviously the world wasn't going to end if I had to wait until the next day to taste this pie.  While in the heat of this moment I didn't stop to think about what I was doing.  There wasn't a prayer lifted up or even a walk away to focus my thoughts.  Prayerfully I can navigate these kind of situations better in the future.  In all honestly the pie would have tasted MUCH better warmed up and accompanied with a salad and enjoyed while sitting down at a table instead of hurriedly sneaking a bite or two.  I've come SO far but yet have so much ground to cover.  It's just food.  It's JUST food.  It's just FOOD.  Why does it control me so? 

I'm hoping today to jog or do a kettle bell workout.  Nathan will be coming home from FL today and I can't WAIT to see him.  Guess I need to read "Made to Crave" again and do some more work in my Celebrate Recovery 12 step books.  I'm gonna share this with my group and continue to make myself open for accountability.  Even typing this helps.  I'm so grateful that this episode was not worse.  I remember the days of sitting down and eating an entire bag of chips (not the individual size).  There was a day when I would finish my plate and the kids plates (no food wasted in this house).  I'm believing those days are behind me, and for that I'm so grateful.  Have a good weekend.    

Joining the "Ready for Summer Challenge"

So I have a new "friend" and follower.  She just recently mentioned a challenge in one of her posts.  I thought it might be a good idea for me to join.  Feel free to come along and let's ALL get ready for SUMMER.

I'm a few days behind.  The challenge started Monday March 25th.  I'm not discouraged though.  I'll link up on Sundays as required but count my weeks from Thursday to Thursday.  10 weeks to grow, change, become more fit and see those numbers moving on down.  Four areas where I can really focus. These focus areas are as follows: Weight loss goal, Non scale goal, Exercise goal, Nutrition goal.  Each week there will be a "mini challenge" that is completely optional.

So here are my four goals for this challenge. 

1.  Weight loss goal:  18 pounds

2.  Non scale goal:  Fit into a size 18 jeans that I bought from the store and they currently don't fit.  This is down from squeezing myself into a 26.

3.  Exercise goal:  Run another 5K (on May 12th) and do it in 38 minutes or less.  This will be my second 5K and cutting four minutes off my previous time.

4.  Nutrition goal:  Drink at least 64 oz. of water daily and eat at least one fruit and veggie daily.

WOW!  Those might have been a bit ambitious, but hey that's what a challenge is for, huh????  For those of you thight might be reading this for the first time as of this morning the scales said 220.  That's 65.6 pounds since Oct. 31, 2010.  Slow going, but oh so worth it.  I really started seeing the weight drop off after I FULLY committed myself in late Sept. 2011.  I haven't been below 200 pounds since 2001 (my first child was born that year).  I'm currently within 10 pounds of my wedding weight.  I have seen weight loss success one other time in my adult life.  Before I got pregnant with Joseph I went from 225 to 180.    So, at this point in my journey I've lost more weight at one time than I ever have.  I've lost LITERALLY one of my children.  :-).  My daugther weighs 62 pounds.  So odd to think of trying to put her on my back and run a 5K.  I can hardly remember what it felt like to have that weight on my body.  I can't imagine what it would feel like to lose another 62 pounds.  AMAZING!!!

I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend.  Blessings to you ALL!!!



Kicking it into Gear

So I was gifted with a Groupon for a two month membership to Ladie's Workout Express.  This gym is just about 15 minutes from my house.  I was a member of this gym approximately 11 years ago and had great success.  I am hoping that this extra workout addition to my Tues./Thurs. program with Leslie will REALLY help my see those numbers rocket down.  Also the KettleWorx system was gifted to me.  I'm going to start this program today or tomorrow.  It is a six week program with an exclusive kettle bell workout.  I use kettle bells with Leslie.  Actually the ones I use with Leslie are heavier than the one that came with the program, but I'm still excited to see what kind of results I can receive/achieve.  Spring is in the air, Summer's right around the corner and I MIGHT wear a sleeveless top for the first time in my life.  Notice I said MIGHT :-). 

So I have several goals I'm headed for in the next days/weeks.  I'll keep you posted on my progress.  Here's to a more confident, leaner, healthier me.

30 Day Goals:
1. Continue Tues./Thurs. class with Leslie
2.  Incorporate a regular "running" day
3.  Start KettleWorx 6-week system
4.  FINALLY get through this ten pounds
5.  Call the doc for my yearly appt.
6.  Visit the chiropractor

90 Day Goals:
1.  Run in the Race for Adoption-5K on May 12th, 2012 in Greer, SC (40 minutes or less)
2.  Be below 200 pounds (preferably by 5/20)
3.  Fit into the jeans that are in my drawer.
4.  Complete the Made to Crave DVD Bible Study
5.  Activate my 2-month Groupon membership to Ladies Workout Express
6.  Visit the dentist
7.  Get a massage and facial
8.  Have both boys potty trained (at least day time)

Keep me accountable would ya????  Have a great weekend. 

On the Move

Spring is in the air and I'm on the move.  The last two weeks at CSI class I've really been trying to pick up the pace of my short interval runs.  I chose the heavier weights today in class and I really concentrated on form.  Last night at my FIT class I chose to walk up an incline AND add an extra hill.  I added distance and shortened time on my Sunday walk and I'm going to try and jog another 3.1 miles this weekend.  I have not jogged a 5K since my race in Feb.  I have walked, jogged, moved and lifted, but I haven't gone 3.1 without stopping.  It's time to do it again!!!

I have a race in May that I am STOKED about.  This race is special because my family will be participating.  My older brother Philip and sis-in-law Tammy will be jogging/running.  I think the most special part of the day is that Nathalie my other sis-in-law will be participating.  I'm not sure to the extent she will be walking/jogging as she consults the doc about her chemo on March 29th.  Greg my older brother I'm sure will be there in some capacity.  I'm even hoping (hint, hint) that he and/or my Dad will walk with my older 3 in the 5K walk.  What a glorious time it will be for ALL of us.  You see mostly we just get together as a family to eat, socialize and/or open presents.  I cannot remember a time EVER when we purposefully gathered together for a physical event.  My brother Philip, sis Tammy and I all were in a marching band at the same time.  Philip and Greg marched together in high school.  I think Philip and Greg might have been on same teams growing up, but I can't remember ALL of us doing something together.  My heart is saddened that Tyler can't join us, but right now his physical condition limits it.  Please keep praying for his seizure disorder and problems with his foot.  I'm gonna KEEP praying that one day I will walk/jog/run alongside of him.  The same for mom.  Once her new knee is in she'll be moving right along.  Our trainer Leslie has BIG plans for her :-)...hehehehehe have fun mom. 

So with Spring in my step, the PROMISE as my focus, surrounded by my friends and family (such a great cloud of witnesses...can you tell I've been studying Hebrews 11) I'm gonna get to moving.  Here is my friend Bobi's favorite song to spur you on to "moving" today.  Be blessed!!!!   

This is MercyMe's "Move"

Happy Birthday to Me

So today I am grateful for my birthday. 36 years of life I've been blessed with and so excited for another year. This year I want to experience an abundant life as described in John 10:10. This is going to be a year to dream, change, grow and become. A chance to learn, embrace, release and discern. 37 is going to be an opportunity to lose and win, to commit, forgive and be forgiven, and laugh, love and LIVE!!!

My sweet LIFE group celebrated all of the March birthdays last night by having a cookout. After a nice walk/jog/hike in Montreat I was greeted by the laughter and sounds of fellowship. Literally at times my LIFE group has been my lifeline. Sharing things with them over the last few months and years has been a joy. Jan made a red velvet cake. Yes I did have a little piece and a cup of coffee. It was wonderful. I think one of the most liberating things along this journey is to know that food doesn't control me. I control it!!! I can CHOOSE whether or not to eat something. That is a great feeling.

So I'm going to be surrounded by food today. A birthday lunch, more cake (which tonight I will say "no" to) and of course dinner. Today my choices might be a little harder, but that's ok. I know if I stop, think, pray and ask for help I can make the RIGHT decision. This is empowering. Now I don't always get this right, but I make more right choices than wrong choices these days. For THAT I'm so grateful.

I'm at another stand still in my weight loss. I keep going from 62-65 pounds down and back up and back down. I've got to kick it up on the cardio and figure out what's going on food wise. I'm praying for revelation and motivation to make it through these next few pounds. I am nine pounds from the goal I had set for myself for this day. I'm not gonna give up though, I'm just gonna work HARDER!!!

Also, I'm so thankful for my family. My sister in law Nathalie was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago. She has had the tumor removed, her lymph nodes were clean, but she starts chemo very soon. Praise God for early detection and a positive prognosis. On May 12th prayerfully a large portion of our family will be participating in a 5K walk/run alongside Nathalie. I think the older three kids are going to walk with her. I think Tammy and myself will be jogging and Philip as well (although I'm sure I'll eat his dust). It's gonna be a lot of fun and a gift that Nathalie will be healthy enough to do this event. That's one of the best birthday gifts I could EVER have received.

Ok. Enough of this. I've got to get ready for lunch. Have a GREAT day!

New Shoes

I was treated to my very first pair of running shoes for my birthday.  Nathan took me to Foot Rx in Asheville and I was fitted for a pair.  I tried on four pair and walked on a treadmill and even went and jogged a bit outside in them.  I chose a pair of Brooks.  So now I own a pair of Brooks "Ghost" running shoes.  I tried on two pair of Saucony shoes and one pair of Mizuno.  Praying that I will enjoy these shoes and every mile I run/walk/exercise in them.  Feeling so grateful today for the chance to change and learn to move my body the way God intended.

Here's to a nice run today, even in the yucky weather???!!!

Almost Half Way There

So I'm almost half of the way on my weight loss journey.  I have lost 62 pounds as of this morning.  I have 18.5 more pounds to go to be "HALF WAY".  That would bring my total to 80.5.  My ultimate goal weight is 124-130.  I know that is a LOW number and possibly an unrealistic goal (without skin removal surgery), but I'm gonna keep pressing onto the prize.

Today was a special day.  My mother in law took me on a "yours and my's day".  As a treat for my birthday she took me shopping and to lunch.  We had a fabulous time and she blessed me with several wonderful pieces of clothing that I needed desperately.  I must say that trying on clothes wasn't completely terrible...ehehehehehe.  It was frustrating, but not terrible, frightening, humiliating and overwhelming as it was before.  Frustrating because I'm in between sizes.  Frustrating because my top size doesn't correspond with my bottom size.  Frustrating because I'm not sure I'll EVER look "right" in some things (i.e. a dress).  I even tried on the dreaded.......bathing suit.  Even that didn't hold as much power over me.  The purpose of a bathing suit is to modestly cover me so I can swim and enjoy myself and my children in the sunshine that God created.  That's it.  It's not a fashion statement or to prove something to someone else.  I didn't feel badly at all.  Not to mention that this year's suit will be at least two sizes smaller than last year's!

So yes, I'm halfway there, but I'm closer than I was a year ago.  I'm closer than I was a month ago.  I'm closer than I was yesterday.  As long as I'm moving forward I'm going the RIGHT direction.

Hang in there,

Janelle