13.1 is So Much More than a Sticker

I remember years ago seeing an oval shaped sticker on a car that simply read 13.1.  I didn't know what it meant so I "googled" it and immediately thought....my car will never have one of those.  Things change....I will be adding a sticker to my "Mom mobile".  On Saturday July 20, 2013 I participated in my first half marathon.  The Windhorse Run was a fundraising event for school supplies for children in Mongolia.  The race was in Bellingham, WA which is an hour and fifteen minutes from my home in Everett.  The race was very small and extremely low key. 

Here are 13 things that I experienced on race day

• Friendly and supportive people within the community of running.  This included the volunteers, organizers and participants.  Even though this race was a down and back I didn't feel any pressure or sadness as the other runners "lapped" me.  Actually they were quite supportive and kept saying "good job", "you're almost there", "keep going".
• Beautiful scenery-Bellingham, WA is a gorgeous place (well at least the interurban trail and greenway are).  The majesty of the forest coupled with breathtaking views of the bay was a gift.  This was by far one of, if not, THE prettiest trails I've ever run.
• The reminder that I should run more than once a week (or maybe even once every two weeks).  Shame on me, yes I know.  Before the 20th I hadn't run since July 5th and that was a 14 mile run.  No wonder why at mile 10 my calf was cramping so badly that one of my toes actually curled up under my foot involuntarily.  Sheesh....not fun Janelle....YOU MUST DO BETTER!
• Joy, serenity and peace.  Yes, there were moments of pain, frustration and challenge, but overall I had a BLAST.  My friend Leslie suggested to me that I smile the entire way.  I'm so glad to have taken her advice.  It made the run easier and so much more fun!!!  I had peace in knowing that I had done 14 miles before so unless a major mishap occurred I would cross the finish line.  There was joy in running with friends and knowing that my body was healthy enough to complete the race.
• A deep and fulfilling sense of accomplishment.  I was reading my journal just this morning and it placed this accomplishment into perspective.  On Aug. 18, 2011 I tried to jog one lap around a local park in NC.  The distance of this lap isn't even a .10 mile.  And to think I was so happy that I almost finished it.  I think I've come a long way in less than two years. 
• The stirring in my heart once again that anything can be an act of worship.  This was my FB status on Friday night before the race "In a matter of hours I will willingly be running 13.1 miles. No one will be holding a gun to my head and nothing will be on fire. My prayer is not that I will win because that won't happen. My prayer isn't to change the world through running because my small donation (entry fee) isn't the answer for children in Mongolia (Jesus is). My prayer is to run FREE in Him, to enjoy the trail, offering my body as a living sacrifice and my effort as worship to the One that has allowed me to progress from running less than 13 feet to 13 miles in a few short years. Tomorrow isn't a race it is an act of abundant living!!!"
• Love unconditional and support from my husband.  Better than my medal for finishing my half marathon.....I came home to a CLEAN home (Nathan swept, mopped, vacuumed, cleaned the oven, kitchen counters, all the bathrooms and there wasn't a toy in the floor). It was my gift and I'm so glad that Nathan and the kids could be proud of me in that way.  My race would not have been possible without their sacrifice to allow me to train. Next race is going to be tougher and we are going to have to work through some logistics. A long bath, a nap and dinner were a perfect way to unwind. 
• A reminder that we are very close to Canada and that we live in a beautiful part of the country.  It made me want to seriously get out and explore the scenery and get a passport so we can see British Columbia.  We don't know how long we are going to live in the pacific NW and I want to enjoy as much of it as possible. 
• The pressure of trying to find a spot in the woods to pee, do it quickly, pull up wet, sweaty compression shorts while not holding up your team too much.  My team was gracious, but not my favorite part of the race.  No matter how much I try to hydrate pre race (days in advance) and pee before the race...I always have to pee during a 10+mile run. 
• NOT making it to the finish line in time for the awards OR the post race bbq.  That won't happen AGAIN!  I knew we were "slow", but sheesh.  However, we did beat the old people and the walkers.  Actually I think there were 8 racers behind us. 
• A sense of awe and wonder again at the complexity of the human body.  The way that the muscles, joints, tendons, ligaments etc. work together to allow the human body to run.  The grace and beauty of the runners that make running look easy and the peace they exude as they work like a machine was fascinating.  The winner finished in 1:30.  AMAZING!!
• The fun and joy of friendship.  I was blessed to run alongside my friend and pastor Tim Moore, my friend Karol and to have trained with my friend and pastor Joe Chambers (who couldn't race due to being out of town).  Although I am relatively new to WA I am blessed to be making real connections.  Slow, but steady...just like my running ;-)
• A renewed sense of hope.  I have forty pounds left to lose to get to "goal' weight.  Although the numbers on the scales have been stuck, the numbers on my pedometer are increasing and I am taking hope that as I keep learning the groove of my life here in WA that the numbers of my measurements and weight will begin to scoot downward once again.  I am making new goals, revisiting old patterns, journaling again, re-reading Made to Crave and actively starting on my Bible memorization (one verse per pound I've lost).  I'm also praying about joining a gym or finding a trainer.  Finding balance...it's hard, but possible.

Thanks as always for following me on my journey.  I'm looking at another race in October and dreaming of one next August (2014).  Maybe I'll share about that one later..

A Little Off Balance

     I'm going to invent a new sport. I know that in the Highland Games or any other Scottish Festival there are throwing events. I'm going to add the "Scale Fling". I'm OVER what my scales say. I logged 29.5 miles jogging this week and NO budging.
     I'm starting to think something is up with my calorie recommendations. Not out, but down a bit today.  My Fitness Pal recommends a different max caloric intake than my friend and former trainer/teacher.  Also it's difficult for me to get in my proper balance.  The night before a run I don't think I'm eating enough or the right food.  I still wig out about mile 6.  Trying to balance losing weight and training my body for longer distance running is a fine line.  I still haven't found my balance of cardio/yoga and strength training to mix in with my half-marathon preparation.  My head knows that I have the tools that I need, but after years of not exercising I still tend to lean too much on support.  Not having my group fitness class has really thrown me for a loop.  I admit that my feeble attempts are failing. 
     So I'm going to try and run/walk 3-4X week (one long, one medium, one short and one walk).  I'm going to do body weight strength training and/or 30-Day Shred DVD 3X week.  I'm going to up my caloric intake which means I'll have to shift some "goals" on MFP.  Water intake increased.  Rest increased.  Back to journaling.  Early to bed, early to rise and a better balance of faith and family.
     Speaking of balance I've also learned some valuable lessons lately in terms of relationships.  When I moved here I had a small group of women that spoke truth into my life.  Actually I had two separate groups.  I had my 12-step group of ladies and I had my workout group.  Here in WA I don't have that support system YET, but I feel it coming.  I'm working daily on establishing and building relationships.  I'm praying for authenticity and I'm asking God to help me be a friend and have a friend. 
     We are getting ready to start the process of building our Celebrate Recovery program for Restoration Church Mukilteo and the idea of opening myself up to another group of women can be intimidating at times.  I have LOTS of junk in my trunk (literally and figuratively...hehehehe) and although I've processed many things there are new things that need working on/through.  I however, have trust in my God and in the DNA of the program of Celebrate Recovery.  I don't have anything to hide and I know that in God's time He will provide me an opportunity to communion with Him, myself and others that I trust.  Also I'm realizing once again that there are seasons in life and the friendships that God blessed me with in NC...some will continue and unfortunately some will not.  That is just the way it is, BUT I know that I have the gift of eternity and I will be reunited with some of those people there.  Some relationships that had priority there have taken a back seat and others have been renewed through snail mail, and texting.  It's been a gift.  There have been differences of opinions, people who have become a bit guarded and others who haven't spoken to me in years that feel confident in sharing openly. 
     At first I felt a bit saddened that people I used to talk to almost daily seem to have too busy a life to call/text, but with the time difference it is inevitable.  Also, I realize that they have their own life and I have mine.  I LIKE my life here in WA.  Instead of mentally and physically listing the things I miss (as I have been) I'm going to focus on the things I HAVE and like here in WA.  The ugly monster of co-dependency can rear it's head on occasion.  Sometimes via FB or other media I find myself feeling a bit sad as to who is talking to who, who gets to go places with who, what is happening in NC...etc.  I see inside jokes posted and I feel saddened that I'm not included.  There are pictures posted, goals celebrated, achievements happening, life without me.  I hear the joys and sorrows of lives of those that touched me daily and I feel a bit displaced.  However, I share in new joys and goals here.  It is all a bit surreal and I'm still learning to make sense of it. 
     Finding balance is truly exercise both spiritually and physically, but I'm up for task!!!  Thanks for reading.

So Great a Cloud of Witnesses

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ² looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV)


Today I was surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.  No they weren't the saints that had gone on before literally, as in death, but they were the saints cheering me on at the finish line.  They were the saints running the race in front of me, beside me, and behind me.  They were the saints that prayed for me to beat my personal "best". 

"Let me run the race that is set before me, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of my faith.." (my emphasis added).  Today I was running my race.  I am ever so grateful for my friend and sister in Christ, Andi Stewart.  She was my help today.  When I wanted to give up, just walk, not push myself, or stop she was there.  At one point (the last half mile, after Andi had pushed on ahead) I literally felt as if I was going to cry.  Several times throughout the race I felt really overwhelmed and then I was reminded that as I was fighting through my pain, my issues, my nausea, why I was even running today.  I had/have nothing to prove.  Today's run was for a cause greater than me.  It was to support a woman named Melanie.  Melanie, a single mom of two girls, just fought and BEAT a very aggressive form of breast cancer.  At the moment she is cancer free.  She is going to have reconstructive surgery in the fall and the medical bills are piling higher than her head.  Today's race was to support her.  So...my crunchy knee, my stitch in my side, my feeling sorry that I'm still too fat to run as fast as I want...NONE of that was as dramatic, or as life changing as Melanie literally fighting for her life.  As I pressed through the selfishness I was able to sprint to the finish line and hear people calling my name.  What a blessing.  What a joy.  What a feeling.  

Jesus is the reason that Melanie has been able to navigate cancer with grace, faith and beauty.  Jesus is the reason I'm 81 pounds lighter.  My faith in my loving God has given me the power, will, commitment to walk this journey.  The perfecter of my faith was working on me, even today, during the race.  My faith was being made stronger as I realized the beauty of the body of Christ, the church, in action.  As people shared in Melanie's burdens we were made lighter.  Praise be to God for sending Jesus.  Praise be to Him for his loving mercy and grace.  Praise be to the Holy Spirit for his guidance and teaching me more about the character of Christ daily.  Today I prayed that they didn't see me run the race, or cross the line.  Once again I prayed that Jesus would be evident, if even for a moment, through my pain, panting and sweat ;-).  His strength is being perfected in my continued weakness.  What a DAY!!!   

My Friend Dana

I'm not entirely sure that she would like me to post this.  If you are offended Dana...please forgive :-).  We had a nice chat tonight.  I had forgotten just how much I love that gal AND her whole family.  There is a lot of history between our families.  We have shared laughs, love, music, tears, good news, bad news, births, deaths, you name it and it's been a part of our lives together. 

Dana is leaving for Army boot camp in a matter of days.  Pause here to tell you how proud I am of her for lots of reasons, but the service...THANK YOU Dana for your dedication to our country.  Dana looks AMAZING.  She has lost 49 pounds and is rockin' her size 7/8 jeans.  I am so inspired by her accomplishments.  As she was telling me today of her PT qualification tests I was happy, and envious all at the same time.  Will I EVER be able to do 12 push-ups?  How about a < 10 minute mile?  I could barely do 20 full sit-ups today in workout, much less 30.  You go girl!  I'm proud of you Dana.  We talked numbers, we shared calorie counts, we chatted about accountability AND we set goals.  She's gonna be bad to the bone (aka G.I. Jane) thanks to her boot camp workout, and by October (the next time I see her) I have a goal to be 175-180.  YIKES that number sounds completely impossible.  Yet, there is a part of me that is excited, inspired, challenged and hopeful. 

I have a 20 year reunion this Fall.  Am I gonna show?  If I do will I still be "the fat girl"?  25 weeks....40-45 pounds.  Sheesh...those aren't good odds, but I've beaten the odds before.  Who has two sets of twins without fertility meds?  HEHEHEHEHE!  I'm always scared to post goals, because I often don't make them.  My below 200 pounds goal by May 20th...not looking so good at this point.  It's April 5th and I'm at 220.  20 pounds in 50 days is like "Biggest Loser" kinda weight loss. 

Dana is young (22 years old) and has a LOT of changing, growing and learning left.  I'm 37 and a little further down the road to discovery, RECOVERY, and wholeness but we share a journey in common.  A journey to health and wholeness.  I will NEVER rock a bikini like she does, but I can wear that same smile knowing that it doesn't matter what the scale says anymore because I LIKE WHO I AM IN THIS MOMENT.  Thanks for the love Dana.  Thanks for the encouragement.  Thanks for the inspiration.  Thanks for being you.