Sunday, June 9, 2013

A Little Off Balance

     I'm going to invent a new sport. I know that in the Highland Games or any other Scottish Festival there are throwing events. I'm going to add the "Scale Fling". I'm OVER what my scales say. I logged 29.5 miles jogging this week and NO budging.
     I'm starting to think something is up with my calorie recommendations. Not out, but down a bit today.  My Fitness Pal recommends a different max caloric intake than my friend and former trainer/teacher.  Also it's difficult for me to get in my proper balance.  The night before a run I don't think I'm eating enough or the right food.  I still wig out about mile 6.  Trying to balance losing weight and training my body for longer distance running is a fine line.  I still haven't found my balance of cardio/yoga and strength training to mix in with my half-marathon preparation.  My head knows that I have the tools that I need, but after years of not exercising I still tend to lean too much on support.  Not having my group fitness class has really thrown me for a loop.  I admit that my feeble attempts are failing. 
     So I'm going to try and run/walk 3-4X week (one long, one medium, one short and one walk).  I'm going to do body weight strength training and/or 30-Day Shred DVD 3X week.  I'm going to up my caloric intake which means I'll have to shift some "goals" on MFP.  Water intake increased.  Rest increased.  Back to journaling.  Early to bed, early to rise and a better balance of faith and family.
     Speaking of balance I've also learned some valuable lessons lately in terms of relationships.  When I moved here I had a small group of women that spoke truth into my life.  Actually I had two separate groups.  I had my 12-step group of ladies and I had my workout group.  Here in WA I don't have that support system YET, but I feel it coming.  I'm working daily on establishing and building relationships.  I'm praying for authenticity and I'm asking God to help me be a friend and have a friend. 
     We are getting ready to start the process of building our Celebrate Recovery program for Restoration Church Mukilteo and the idea of opening myself up to another group of women can be intimidating at times.  I have LOTS of junk in my trunk (literally and figuratively...hehehehe) and although I've processed many things there are new things that need working on/through.  I however, have trust in my God and in the DNA of the program of Celebrate Recovery.  I don't have anything to hide and I know that in God's time He will provide me an opportunity to communion with Him, myself and others that I trust.  Also I'm realizing once again that there are seasons in life and the friendships that God blessed me with in NC...some will continue and unfortunately some will not.  That is just the way it is, BUT I know that I have the gift of eternity and I will be reunited with some of those people there.  Some relationships that had priority there have taken a back seat and others have been renewed through snail mail, and texting.  It's been a gift.  There have been differences of opinions, people who have become a bit guarded and others who haven't spoken to me in years that feel confident in sharing openly. 
     At first I felt a bit saddened that people I used to talk to almost daily seem to have too busy a life to call/text, but with the time difference it is inevitable.  Also, I realize that they have their own life and I have mine.  I LIKE my life here in WA.  Instead of mentally and physically listing the things I miss (as I have been) I'm going to focus on the things I HAVE and like here in WA.  The ugly monster of co-dependency can rear it's head on occasion.  Sometimes via FB or other media I find myself feeling a bit sad as to who is talking to who, who gets to go places with who, what is happening in NC...etc.  I see inside jokes posted and I feel saddened that I'm not included.  There are pictures posted, goals celebrated, achievements happening, life without me.  I hear the joys and sorrows of lives of those that touched me daily and I feel a bit displaced.  However, I share in new joys and goals here.  It is all a bit surreal and I'm still learning to make sense of it. 
     Finding balance is truly exercise both spiritually and physically, but I'm up for task!!!  Thanks for reading.


  1. This is, by far, my biggest struggle right now. Eating enough to fuel my runs but staying low enough to see the scale move.

  2. Keep up the hard work :) You're doing absolutely amazing in my opinion!