Accountability

So here I am, only five-six pounds lighter than when I started the "challenge".  Disgusted and extremely frustrated with myself, I'm feeling a bit stuck and in desperate need of a change.  72 pounds and it seems I can't lose an ounce more. The ball and chain of the scales feels tied to the scales heavy today.

I have added a third day of weight training/circuit class and I'm hoping to up my cardio.  Possibly food intake is the issue this time?  Regardless, I'm quite frustrated.  Yet, another goal passed unmet.  I was "supposed" to be below 200 pounds as of the 20th.  I'm 210.5 on one scale and 214 on another.  Maybe that's an issue in itself that I have two scales?????   

Also I just gotta get it out there.  I'm feeling a bit jealous of people going on vacation.  Don't think the fam and I are going  to have that opportunity this year.  Finances are a bit tight.  The house purchase still hasn't been completed and I'm just plain old grumpy.  Think I'm gonna go for a run and get my sweat on at a 9 o'clock open gym time.  Have a great holiday weekend.

Week 5 Check-in/Week 6 Goals

So today ended Wk. 5 for me in the "Ready for Summer Challenge". I feel as if I am making some progress but really had hoped to have seen a dramatic difference by now. I'm halfway through the challenge and not to my half way point pound wise. Oh well....I've got more time to keep on keeping on :-).

1. Weight Loss Goal: I had hoped that the scale would say 215 and this morning it said 216.3. Sheesh. Oh well. I will give myself grace because I am on my period this week. Hoping to see a little more gone by next Thursday. So since the challenge started I've lost 3.7 pounds. That's a little depressing to type, but hey at least I didn't gain 3.7 pounds.

2. NSV: I registered for my 5K race on May 12th. I'm going to be participating in this race with my brother, nephew and sis-in-law. So fun! Hoping to cut my time by at least 5 minutes.

I'll keep you posted.

3. Nutrition Goal: I didn't get the quinoa or flaxseed oil as I had hoped because I was waiting for payday and then I've had a sick girl. I did use Bragg's Liquid Aminos though in a stirfry and WOW!!! It was wonderful. I had never used them before and I prefer them now to soy sauce. So grateful to have tried something new. Also I've become a huge fan of raw sweet potatoes and

brussels sprouts in my salad.

4. Exercise Goal: I DID manage to get my 3X workouts in this week. I ran for 56 minutes on Sat. I did a very tough hill repeat workout on Sunday and I worked out with my class/trainer on Tues. and Wed. YEAH ME!!!

Week 6 Goals:

1. Weight Loss Goal: I'm on it and my mojo is BACK!!! Period or not I'm gonna press through and see those numbers go down, down, down. Thursday 5/11 my scale is gonna say 213!!!

2. Non-Scale Goal: Finish my 5K race in 38 minutes or less. Color my hair. This gray has to GO!!!

3. Nutrition Goal: Continue to eat 5 small meals daily. Keep my 3 Liter of water a day habit and get that flaxseed oil and quinoa!! I want to re-visit meal planning.

4. Exercise Goal: I ordered the Kettleworx DVD system and have only done one workout. I want to start it on 5/13. So that means a completion date June 23rd.

I'm so grateful to have found this challenge. I'm enjoying the challenge and the accountability. I'm proud of everyone who is participating and grateful for all of the encouragement.

Unsettled and Undone

The prophet Isaiah said in Chapter 6 verse 4 "Woe is me, for I am ruined!" I can relate. Lately I have been experiencing a holy unsettling. A time of correction, rebuke, and challenge from the Word and from other books that I've been reading. I have been studying the Sermon on the Mount again in Kay Arthur's "Lord I'm Torn Between Two Masters". Coming face to face with unconfessed sins in my life isn't easy. Meditating on any practices repeated patterns that might separate me from God is a difficult and humbling process. I praise God for the assurance of salvation and the reminder of the power of GRACE!. I have been delivered from so much and I have so much gratitude within my heart. Being holy isn't possible within my own power but living a life that is pleasing to God is COMPLETELY possible through Jesus Christ.

Also there have been some authors that have deeply touched me lately. This was a post on the blog of author/speaker Lysa TerKeurst from 2009. I first came across it in her book "Made to Crave" and I tell it almost "did me in".

Unsettle me.

These are the two words rattling about in my brain today. I almost wish it was a more glamorous prayer. Surely more eloquent words could be found for what I’m feeling led to pursue during this new year.
But these are the words- this is the prayer for my 2009.
The funny thing is I’ve spent my whole existence trying to find a place to settle down. People to settle down with. And a spirit about me worthy of all this settled down-ness.
All of this is good. A contented heart, thankful for its blessings is a good way to settle.
But there are areas of my life that have also settled that mock my desires to be godly woman. Compromises if you will.

Attitudes that I’ve wrapped in the lie, “Well, that’s just how I am. And if that’s all the bad that’s in me, I’m doing pretty good.”
I dare you, dear soul of mine, to notice the stark evidence of a spirit that is tainted and a heart that must be placed under the microscope of God’s word.
Yes, indeed, unsettle me Lord.
Unearth that remnant of unforgiveness.
Shake loose that justification for compromise.
Reveal that broken shard of pride.
Expose that tendency to distrust.
Unsettle me in the best kind of way. For when I allow your touch to reach the deepest parts of me- dark and dingy and hidden away too long- suddenly, a fresh wind of life twists and twirls and dances through my soul.
I can delight in forgiveness and love more deeply.
I can discover my gentle responses and find softer ways for my words to land.
I can recognize the beauty of humility and crave the intimacy with God it unleashes.
I can rest assured though harsh winds blow, I will be held.
Goodbye to my remnants, my justification, shards, and tendencies. This is not who I am- nor who I was created to be.

Goodbye to shallow love, sharp words, self focus, and suspicious fears. I am an unsettled woman who no longer wishes to take part in your distractions or distructions.

Welcome deeper love, softer words, unleashed intimacy, and the certainty I am held.

Welcome my unsettled heart.

Welcome 2009.

This is my second reading of Lysa's book and I didn't read the chapter that included this entry on my first time through. I was reading this while in the tub (about the only quiet place I have these days) and I was crying so hard I almost dropped the book.

Jen Hatmaker is another author that seems to have a private portal into my thoughts. I am currently on my second reading of "7:An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess". Oh my stars. WOW! Hello there 2X4 upside the head. I've been struggling for quite sometime about the excess in my personal life and in the life of my family. After reading this book I've been inspired, challenged and encouraged. I'm praying about how God would have me become more aware of His presence and ways to eliminate excess and the trite that might stand in the way of my Heavenly calling. It's relationship. It's service. It's obedience. It's holiness. It's integrity. It's transparency. It's humility. I'm being called to pursue these things and not the next great recipe, clothing style, gadget, trinket, opportunity, experience, home school curriculum, ministry, etc.

Loving God, loving people. That pretty much sums it up for me.

I'm an undone woman. I'll never be the same and the beautiful thing is that I don't want to be that "old" woman EVER again. I'm through with "Egypt". I'm turning North and I'm on the move to the promised land. Thank you Holy Spirit for your loving, gentle, yet persistent agitations. I am grateful to be undone and done with this world!!!