The Fine Line of Grace

Yes....I should extend myself grace.  I realize this is a weight loss journey.  However, I can't extend grace to myself when I overeat in a premeditated setting.  Nathan and I had a date on Monday night and AS we were walking into the restaurant I remember thinking "ask them NOT to bring chips and salsa".  However, when the chips came I ate my weight in guacamole.  I also didn't mind ordering dinner after I gorged myself.  Yes, the conversation was nice.  I enjoyed my husband's uninterrupted time IMMENSELY, BUT I didn't make wise choices and I could have.  I should have ordered a salad.  I could have.... You get the drift.

Yes, sometimes there are unavoidable bobbles when it comes to eating/overeating.  However, I could have avoided the pineapple casserole at last nights dinner.  I could have made a different choice at Avocado's on Monday night.  I don't have to buy sweets at the grocery store.  I CAN decide to eat healthy, "real" foods.

Grace...yes there is grace.  Today IS a new day.   Each meal holds its own choices.  However, I HAVE to keep it real.  I have to grow from my mistakes and I have to keep on keeping on in this journey. 

Thanks for letting me rant.  Today I WILL be under my calorie goal.  Today I WILL move my body.  Today I will plan my meals and feel good about them.  Today I WILL drink enough water.  Today I will remember that I've lost 100+ pounds BUT I have more to lose and that can't happen if I keep ignoring the small things. 

Have a good day and yes I'm thankful for God's grace that even allowed me a four hundred and seventy second chance (ok...maybe I exaggerated a bit) to lose weight. 

Things That Make Me Go Hmmmmm.....

So today is Cinco De Mayo.  This is a holiday that has to do with the Mexicans unlikely victory over the French army in the Battle of Puebla.  It is NOT the Mexican Independence day.  Why do we as Americans celebrate this day?  I think it's because people are looking for a justification to eat their weight in chips and salsa and wash it all down with a margarita or two.

Why do "we" ok...I, often feel the need to celebrate life's experiences with food?  Good, bad, happy, sad it's food related.  When did I cross the line from moderation to excess?  A taste of birthday cake isn't wrong, but a plate fully loaded with carbs and THEN a piece of cake with ice cream-SHEESH.....that's gluttony, plain and simple.

Mother's Day is coming up and I will be celebrating it by running my second 5K on Sat. the 12th with my brother, sis-in-law, dad, and three oldest kids.  I want to start celebrating life with LIFE, not with sugary food that make you feel bloated and yucky. 

One year using Wii Fit Plus.  I'm down 57.4 pounds.  Since I started this journey I'm down 69.8 pounds.  I'm losing myself and loving it!!!

Words that have more meaning to me these days....moderation, balance, control, pace and peace. 

Have a blessed day and thanks for reading my random thoughts.  I'm gonna celebrate Cinco De Mayo by doing 30 minutes of steps and going for a short run (granted the rain holds off for a bit).

Food

Ugh.....somedays I don't even want to eat.  Today is one of those.  I just don't like ANYTHING that's in the cabinets or fridge.  Nothing tastes good, and having to plan and eat a healthy meal is too much work.  I know I have to eat.  I probably don't eat enough truth be told, but I hate it.  I've worked so hard to overcome a food addiction and with God's help I think I'm approaching the other side of the finish line. 

So....having to shop for, plan for, cook for, clean up after seven people is exhausting and makes me not even want to eat.  Honestly, some days I can't remember what meals I've eaten.  I need to find a way to track my meals.  I used myftinesspal.com and that worked.  I just forget about the program and forget to utilize it to it's full potential.  Just wanted to jot down how I was feeling.  Thanks as always for listening....

Janelle

Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving and other holidays are usually celebrated by partaking LOTS of food.  At least that's how it's done in the Morgan/Flint households.  These foods are often starchy, sweet, sticky, gooey, crunchy, fried, flaky, fatty, and abundant.  Not that "fun" food is a bad thing.  It's just that usually I end up eating WAY TO MUCH of it.  I wish that Americans didn't put as much emphasis on "holiday foods". Oh and one Thanksgiving dinner isn't enough...lol.   So today is Thanksgiving dinner #2.  I must admit that last Thursday I wasn't very "good".  I ate more than I should have.  I ate foods that weren't healthy.  I even had dessert(s).  The fellowship was sweet, but my body told me that it didn't like what I had put in it or how much.  I was almost immediately sorry for my choices.  That felt good even at the same time of feeling badly.  It meant to me that I wanted to eat differently. 

I am learning new habits.  I am displacing old thought patterns.  I am purposing to be a healthy, whole version of my current self.  I am embracing knowledge, change and FREEDOM.  So just as God's Word says in Lam. 3:22-23(NLT) "The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.  Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." I am believing that today is another chance to try again.  My family is in from out of town to celebrate.  My prayer is that I will enjoy their company and our conversation will be graced with the presence of the Lord.  My contributions to the dinner will be quinoa (see previous post..hahaha) and organic mashed potatoes (butter cream variety).  It will be a wonderful day. 

I am thankful that God has allowed my eyes to be opened to the need to change.  I have known for YEARS that I need to change.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to look in the mirror and see that I'm fat or when I walk a few flights of stairs I'm winded.  What I mean is that the eyes of my spirit have been opened to my need for help from my Savior AND from friends and family to encourage me in this realm of change.  He brought me to my lowest point last month to make me realize something has to give.  Maybe I'll blog about that too.  Nevertheless, fat, winded, humbled, overwhelmed yet HOPEFUL I will bring myself to the table and ENJOY Thanksgiving with my family.

Thanking God for healthy food,

Janelle