Happy Birthday to Me

So today I am grateful for my birthday. 36 years of life I've been blessed with and so excited for another year. This year I want to experience an abundant life as described in John 10:10. This is going to be a year to dream, change, grow and become. A chance to learn, embrace, release and discern. 37 is going to be an opportunity to lose and win, to commit, forgive and be forgiven, and laugh, love and LIVE!!!

My sweet LIFE group celebrated all of the March birthdays last night by having a cookout. After a nice walk/jog/hike in Montreat I was greeted by the laughter and sounds of fellowship. Literally at times my LIFE group has been my lifeline. Sharing things with them over the last few months and years has been a joy. Jan made a red velvet cake. Yes I did have a little piece and a cup of coffee. It was wonderful. I think one of the most liberating things along this journey is to know that food doesn't control me. I control it!!! I can CHOOSE whether or not to eat something. That is a great feeling.

So I'm going to be surrounded by food today. A birthday lunch, more cake (which tonight I will say "no" to) and of course dinner. Today my choices might be a little harder, but that's ok. I know if I stop, think, pray and ask for help I can make the RIGHT decision. This is empowering. Now I don't always get this right, but I make more right choices than wrong choices these days. For THAT I'm so grateful.

I'm at another stand still in my weight loss. I keep going from 62-65 pounds down and back up and back down. I've got to kick it up on the cardio and figure out what's going on food wise. I'm praying for revelation and motivation to make it through these next few pounds. I am nine pounds from the goal I had set for myself for this day. I'm not gonna give up though, I'm just gonna work HARDER!!!

Also, I'm so thankful for my family. My sister in law Nathalie was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago. She has had the tumor removed, her lymph nodes were clean, but she starts chemo very soon. Praise God for early detection and a positive prognosis. On May 12th prayerfully a large portion of our family will be participating in a 5K walk/run alongside Nathalie. I think the older three kids are going to walk with her. I think Tammy and myself will be jogging and Philip as well (although I'm sure I'll eat his dust). It's gonna be a lot of fun and a gift that Nathalie will be healthy enough to do this event. That's one of the best birthday gifts I could EVER have received.

Ok. Enough of this. I've got to get ready for lunch. Have a GREAT day!

New Shoes

I was treated to my very first pair of running shoes for my birthday.  Nathan took me to Foot Rx in Asheville and I was fitted for a pair.  I tried on four pair and walked on a treadmill and even went and jogged a bit outside in them.  I chose a pair of Brooks.  So now I own a pair of Brooks "Ghost" running shoes.  I tried on two pair of Saucony shoes and one pair of Mizuno.  Praying that I will enjoy these shoes and every mile I run/walk/exercise in them.  Feeling so grateful today for the chance to change and learn to move my body the way God intended.

Here's to a nice run today, even in the yucky weather???!!!

Almost Half Way There

So I'm almost half of the way on my weight loss journey.  I have lost 62 pounds as of this morning.  I have 18.5 more pounds to go to be "HALF WAY".  That would bring my total to 80.5.  My ultimate goal weight is 124-130.  I know that is a LOW number and possibly an unrealistic goal (without skin removal surgery), but I'm gonna keep pressing onto the prize.

Today was a special day.  My mother in law took me on a "yours and my's day".  As a treat for my birthday she took me shopping and to lunch.  We had a fabulous time and she blessed me with several wonderful pieces of clothing that I needed desperately.  I must say that trying on clothes wasn't completely terrible...ehehehehehe.  It was frustrating, but not terrible, frightening, humiliating and overwhelming as it was before.  Frustrating because I'm in between sizes.  Frustrating because my top size doesn't correspond with my bottom size.  Frustrating because I'm not sure I'll EVER look "right" in some things (i.e. a dress).  I even tried on the dreaded.......bathing suit.  Even that didn't hold as much power over me.  The purpose of a bathing suit is to modestly cover me so I can swim and enjoy myself and my children in the sunshine that God created.  That's it.  It's not a fashion statement or to prove something to someone else.  I didn't feel badly at all.  Not to mention that this year's suit will be at least two sizes smaller than last year's!

So yes, I'm halfway there, but I'm closer than I was a year ago.  I'm closer than I was a month ago.  I'm closer than I was yesterday.  As long as I'm moving forward I'm going the RIGHT direction.

Hang in there,

Janelle

Made to Crave

I'm on my second read through of Lysa Terkeurst's book "Made to Crave".  It has been very challenging, humorous and informational.  I would LOVE to attend a Made to Crave study.  Maybe our LIFE group ladies will form one soon????  I want to leave you with a few thoughts from the book.

"Getting healthy isn't just about losing weight.  It's not limited to adjusting our diet and hoping for good physical results.  It's about recalibrating our souls so that we want to change-spiritually, physically, and mentally.  And the battle really is in all three areas."

"We consume what we think about.  And what we think about can consume us if we're not careful. And what we're craving will always depend on whatever we're consuming...the object of our desire or God and His truth."

"Accountability is crucial"

"We were made for more than this.  More than this failure, more than this cycle, more than being ruled by taste buds.  We were made for victory.  Sometimes we just have to find our way to that truth."

Have a blessed day my sweet friends and thanks for stopping by on this part of my journey.

Noom Weight Loss Coach

Ok...another free app for my phone.  I'm excited to try it.  Noom Weight Loss coach sets goals for food and exercising.  It surveys me and customizes a plan.  There is a free app and a PRO app.  I am trying a free 30 day trial of the PRO app.  I started yesterday and it said that I could be to my goal weight by March 1, 2013 if I keep it up with my eating and exercise goals.  Part of yesterday's "homework" was to actually say OUT LOUD what my goal weight is and do it while looking in a mirror, or speaking it to another person.  I am FULLY aware that this goal I set might not be possible without skin removal surgery (that's for another blog), BUT I said it out loud anyway.  I said it to myself and I shared it with Nathan.  I'm not quite ready to reveal it to the world (hehehehehehe), but maybe someday I will. 

It made me schedule workout times and it programs reminders.  I have the option to log my meals with a red/yellow/green system as opposed to a specific calorie count.  I can set goals, talk to others online and learn new recipes.  I'll keep you posted on my progress.  Today I have a "stair challenge".  I also have to log one meal today. 

So here's to a new day, a new progress a NEW set of numbers :-). 

Get Back Up Again....

We lose our way, we get back up again....

So I've been struggling lately with consistency, motivation and the dreaded up's and down's.  I know that my body will fluctuate weight wise.  I know that in some expert opinions even two pounds in a day is acceptable +/-.  I just seem to be hitting plateaus a little more regularly and I'm fighting discouragement.  Why can't I just keep plowing forward?  Today I found myself eating mindlessly and much more than I would have like to honestly.  What is that about?  Why do I still seem so bound sometimes by boredom, needless want to eat.  Some days it doesn't get me, but some days just because "it's" there is a good enough reason to eat.  Sweets don't tempt me, it's the REAL deal, the real food.  Salty, cheesy, creamy are more my speed :-). 

I am gonna get back up again though.  When I fall I'm not gonna stay down, and I am certainly not going to get trampled on by the pack of people who are still progressing towards health and wholeness.  Each new moment is an opportunity to choose wisely, act lovingly, think clearly, honor completely.  Each new day brings a chance for growth and change.  Each new meal can be successful. 

Keep trying, keep laughing, keep believing, keep growing, keep changing, keep praying, keep running, keep speaking the TRUTH over my life, keep on keeping on....

One Size DOESN'T Fit ALL or Even Most!!!

So the old saying on the tag....one size fits all.  They changed that a few years ago to read...one size fits MOST.  They did that because of the growing (no pun intended) obesity epidemic in America.  Sometimes I think it's that "one size" mentality that got me into the situation I'm in currently.  I thought that "one size fits all" meant that I deserved the same life as someone else, anyone else, everyone else.  It meant that I could eat what they did, exercise the same amount (or not) as they did, spend as much as they did, etc.  See what a damaging mindset that has been for me to have?  I have also felt that it meant that as long as I looked like someone else, had their approval, resembled them that I could "fit in".  I have cared more for people's approval than the love and genuine acceptance of my Heavenly Father, God.  I have tried to fit myself into too many other people's "molds", much less their lives, their jeans...hehehehe and their situations.  It has played havoc on my ego, my esteem and has completely destroyed my clear view of my Savior.  I've let numbers get in the way.  Numbers related to weight.  Numbers related to G.P.A's.  Numbers related to bank accounts.  Numbers related to how many children, square footage on a home, the year a car was made, how many times I've been on a cruise.  You name it and I've tried to fit my life into someone else's number. 

Well I'm being reminded daily because of this journey that one size jeans with a certain number WON'T fit you like another pair from a different company with the same number. Heck, it won't fit on a different cut of pants from the same company.  If it's that simple, practical, tangible in a clothing size why can't I get it through my head that my life isn't meant to be like anyone else's?  Why am I still trying to be the same number as some one else? 

I'm so grateful that I'm learning that I don't have to be like anyone else.  I don't have to look like anyone else.  I don't have to fit into their lives, their dreams, their goals.  Now in regards to numbers.  I must admit that I still feel bound by them a bit.  How many calories can I eat a day?  (That's a number)  How much weight did I lose this week (a number)?  How many servings of fruits and veggies did I eat today (a number)?  How many inches have a lost (a number)?  The weights that I lift with...numbers.  The reps that I do at workout...numbers.  See how they are everywhere????  Oh not to mention 5K, 8K..how fast I run my times...ehehehehehehe. Sheesh..numbers are surrounding me.

Hopefully there will be a day when the numbers don't matter so much.  I'm praying that I can be set free from having to be so regimented and being concerned about what the numbers say.  Thanks as always for letting me share.